Janmashtami Pooja

Mom lighting Maha-aarti lamp

Krishna Janmashtami Pooja is performed to celebrate the birth of Lord Krishna.

According to info gathered from my Dad, it is observed on the eighth day, (hence it is called Ashtami ) Ashtami tithi, of the dark half or Krishna Paksha of the month of Shravana in the Hindu calendar, when the Rohini Nakshatra is ascendant. Note: Wikipedia seems to believe it is Bhadra month.

We always perform the pooja ourselves at home, this time I decided to document some parts of it. I have also prepared basic lists of items needed for general convenience.

For GSBs, the Janmashtami day is awaited eagerly mostly for the varieties of yummy food that is prepared. Traditionally 108 different delicacies are offered to the Lord at midnight, and then happily consumed by hungry devotees. For those operating on a budget, 56 dishes are offered (chappan bhog). Ofcourse, in our recession-hit days even this seems a bit much. So we settled for 12.


Our Mantap was decorated this way

Janmashtami Pooja generally takes the form of welcoming the Lord as one would a guest. As in most poojas, only males who wear the sacred thread (after "Moonji"/Upanayana) perform the pooja. ( This is probably because the ladies were too busy with all the cooking )

My Dad follows procedures as mentioned in a well-thumbed kannada book (Sri Krishna Janmashtami by Prabhakar Press Ltd, Udupi) and the pooja is performed in sanskrit.

Significant parts follow:

Note: Samarpayami means "I offer". After each part is over, the person doing the pooja announces which part is offered, as below.

1. Dhyaanam Samarpayami (Think or meditate on the Lord)
2. Aawaahanam Samarpayami (Invite the Lord into your home/heart)
3. Aasanam Samarpayami (Offer a seat)
4. Paadyam Samarpayami (Offer water to wash the feet)
5. Arghyam Samarpayami (Offer water to wash the hands)
6. Aachamanam Samarpayami (Offer water to drink)
7. Snaanam Samarpayami (Give bath)
8. Maha Abhishekam Samarpayami (Main head bath)
9. Vasthram Samarpayami (Offer clothes)
10. Yajnopaveetham Samarpayami (Offer the Holy Thread)
11. Gandham Samarpayami (Offer sandlewood paste/powder)
12. Bhushanam Samarpayami (Offer ornaments)
13. Akshatham Samarpayami (Offer Akshatha (rice))
14. Pushpam Samarpayami (Offer flowers)
15. Vishnu Sahasrananam jape viniyogaha ( 1000 names of Lord Vishnu )
16. Ashthothtra Namajape Viniyogaha (108 names of Krishna)
17. Dhoopam Samarpayami (Offer fragrance)
18. Deepam Samarpayami (Offer light)
19. Neivedyam Samarpayami (Offer food)
20. Phalam Samarpayami (Offer fruits)
21. Taamboolam Samarpayami (Offer betel nut and leaves )
22. Dakshinam Samarpayami (Offer wealth)
23. Maha Mangalaarati Samarpayami (Perform aarti)
24. Pradakshinam Samarpayami (Circumambulate the Idol)
25. Namaskaran Samarpayami (Prostrate before God)
26. Praarthanaam Samarpayami (Offer prayers, request your desires)
27. Xamaapanam Samarpayami (Ask for forgiveness in case of goof-ups)

In places where the offering mentioned is not available, a tulsi dul (leaf pair) is offered instead.

Running Time of Pooja

Usually 1 hr 30 min and 30 min for aarti
( we have 3 aartis; 10 min per aarti )
Many of the lord's names are tongue twisters so it may run longer if you stumble on each name.


Dad performing pooja, doing the aarti


Neivedyam

As in any pooja, everyone knows the most important part is the prasad. It is prepared before hand (and only after the person who is preparing it has bathed). It is not tasted before offering it to god.

What my Mom prepared this year:
a. Churmundo
Laddoo of wheat flour (90%) and besan (10%) (gram flour)
with powdered sugar, ghee, cardamom and raisins
b. Panchakajjai (easy to make)

Panchakajjai Recipe:
1. Bengal gram (roasted and powdered )
2. White Sesame seeds ( roasted)
3. Coconut scrapings
4. Jaggery powder
5. Cardamom powder
6. Ghee (optional)

Mix 3,4,5 together. Add 1 and 2 to this mixture.
Put optional 1-2 tbl spoons ghee on top for aroma.

Pooja Item List

If you do not have Silver/Copper items as below , substitute stainless steel.

Clean and polish :

1. Kalash (Silver/Copper)
2. Tamhan/Purnapatra (Silver/Copper) - plate
3. Panchpatra/Bhande (Silver/Copper) - bowl and spoon
3. Shimudra (Silver/Copper) - religious stamps
4. Shankha - Conch Shell for blowing
5. Argya Shankha - to offer argya - small Conch Shell ( cannot be used for blowing )
6. Ghaanta (Brass/Silver) - Bell
7. Jhaghanta (Brass) - Gong with striker
8. Diyas (Silver/ Brass) - Ghee/Oil Lamps - ( 1 large, 1 small ) Add more for decoration.
9. Brass Aaarti lamps ( more the merrier )
10. Agarbhatti stand ( silver / brass )
11. Mantap ( silver / white metal / brass ) - optional


Old Brass Oil Lamp Vs. LED Lamp

Buy :
1. Flowers in trays ( separate for alankara , malas for decoration )
2. Mango leaves thoran ( for hanging on door ) and bunch of 5 for putting in kalash
3. Plaintain leaves ( for eating on )
4. Kaeli pair - 2 Baby Banana plants ( for decoration )
5. Coconut - minimum 2 - 1 to be in kalash, one to be broken later as prasad
6. Tulsi dul in a tray (min. 108 or 1001) - tip of tulsi branches having only 2 leaves.
7. Any Fruits in silver plates (or trays) - in odd numbers, eg. 1 bunch of 5 bananas (do not separate from each other)

Other Items:
1. Ghee
2. Oil
3. Panchamrat items in separate bowls - ghee, honey, milk, dahi, sugar
4. Sacred thread double ( for married person) - ( for the god )
6. Drinking Water in a bowl / pot
7. Gandham - Sandalwood paste
8. Gopichandan (Gopchannan in konkani) - Cream coloured paste for use with shimudhram
9. Akshatha - raw rice ( 2 tbl spoon in a bowl )
10. Kunkum in silver bowl
11. Agarbhatti / dhoop ( with stand )
12. Vaathi ( Cotton wicks ) for arti and lamps
13. Matchbox
14. Rags for wiping up
15. Machette / Koithi in konkani - Heavy blunt object to split the coconut
16. Big bowl to collect coconut water
17. Pooja procedure book with mantras ( Important! )

Decoration

Mantap and the idol in it, should face east.

1. Thread for tying up decorations
2. Scissors
3. Creating a mantap ( we use slabs of thermocol to make a small stage )
4. Manai ( wooden seat) / Mats - to seat the person(s) performing pooja
5. Cloth lengths for decoration (usually hung as a screen behind the mantap)
6. Carpet to seat the rest of the household.


Attire
Only the people performing the pooja need follow the dress code :
Pattetodopu ( silk dhoti and shawl ) for the gents ( essentially unstitched cloth )
Usually, they bathe, dress and sit for pooja immediately.

Fasting
The persons involving themselves in the pooja are required to fast. Fasting in this case is defined as abstaining from consuming meat, onion, garlic and carbohydrates (lepu). Water, all Milk products, fruit, vegetables, food grains like lentils may be consumed.

[ Note: Since Paneer is made from splitting milk, this is considered inauspicious among hindus. Paneer is an introduced food to North-India ( came from Afghanisthan, I read this in Al Basham's The Wonder that was India ). You may want to keep away from the cheeses, if you want to be true to the fast ]

THE FOOD

After pooja is over, dinner is served. Our menu this year :
Note : no onion or garlic is used. In temples, hing (asofetida) is also not used.

1. Pickle - mixed veg
2. Green beans Palya ( upkari ) Garnished with coconut scrapings, tadka : redchillies and mustard
3. Plain Papad
4. Aalwati ( masala randhai(curry) of Arbi/Arvi leaves )
5. Karathe Ambade Ghasshi ( Karela and sour ambado masala curry )
6. Tori and Jeev Kadgi Ghasshi ( Whole White Tur and Breadfruit masala curry )
7. Pooli Koddhel ( Koo-waa-lain - White Pumpkin in spicy tamarind curry )
8. Rice ( keep ghee handy )
9. Rasam
10. Daali Thoy ( Simple Dal - hing, mustard, curry leaves, green chillies )

Sweets
11. Madagane ( Sweet - Chana Dal and Cashew stewed in thick coconut milk and jaggery )
12. Pattholi ( Sweet - Rice Rolls stuffed with coconut, jaggery and cardamom. Wrapped in turmeric leaves and steamed )

Dinner is served on plaintain leaves.
Place leaf with smaller end on the left hand side of the seated person.
Serve salt first, then follow the order as in list above.

Regrettably, after food was served, I completely forgot to take pictures. So sadly, I have no pictures of the divine tasting things mentioned above. But I assure you it was yum! It was only after dinner, on a full tummy, that we remembered the camera.

Keshav and I forgot to bring our Cameras; so all photos were taken by Keshav, on my parent's Olympus-SP550UZ.


For Pooja with limited time and resources :
Short-Cuts

1 diya ( if not oil/ghee, at least LED )
1 arti ( use a plate with karpur or give arti with the diya )
1 tulsi dul ( pick it from your own plant )
1 flower ( pick it from your own plant )
Fruit ( im sure there is some fruit in the house, 1 coconut would be great too )
Agarbhatti
kumkum
Sugar as nivedhyam

Dont forget to have bath and fast.

Read the ashtotar. If there are several people and you are in hurry, it can be divided, in a Divide and Conquer Strategy eg. 25 each
For even shorter pooja, it is sufficient to say the following.
"Hare Krishna Hare Krishna,
Krishna Krishna Hare Hare,
Hare Rama Hare Rama,
Rama Rama Hare Hare"

There is no shortcut for food :)


Helpful Links:
VishnuSahasranamam: (1000 Names)
compiled with 108 slokhas (versus) that contain the 1000 Names of Sri Mahavishnu.
http://www.trsiyengar.com/id70.shtml

Asthotharam: (108)
http://iworld4you.com/sri-krishna-ashtothara-sathanamavali-108-names/

Tamil Versions
Interactive learning and video:
http://www.slokas.com/slokas/vedicrituals/tamil/poojas/gokul.html
Procedure:
http://www.slokas.com/slokas/vedicrituals/tamil/poojas/pooja/janmashtami13.html

Sources:
http://www.netglimse.com/holidays/janmashtami/how_to_do_janmashtami_puja.shtml

Part IV: GSB Wedding Rituals

The following rituals are combined after deep research from a book "Reethi Rivaz" (in Kannada) and from interogating our Pandit and relatives several times.

Wedding Rituals

On the morning of the wedding, the Pandit will arrive at the brides house and conduct a small prayer for proceedings to go smoothly. Elder relatives of the brides parents are usually also invited to this early morning prayer session.

After brief prayers, the bride touches the feet of all elders present and the wedding party proceeds to the hall. The Bride has to wear a not too grand sari (Sari 1) which need not even be new. ( The idea apparently is to keep expenses in control )

Inviting Groom's Party

The Brother of Bride / Maternal Uncle (Mama) of the bride will go to groom's house and invite the groom's family to the hall.
He will take with him a box of sweets (previously used to be a box of homemade laddus), flowers for the women of the house and token cash (in envelopes) for any small children of the groom's family.

Edur Kansani ( Receiving the Groom's party )

Once at the hall, bride's party prepares to receive the groom. This program involves only women.
The women will wait outside the hall with the paraphenelia as described. The Brides sister or Paternal cousin sister will hold a circular steel plate (thali/poleru in konkani) (Plate 1) it will have the following
1.Mirror supported by a Kalash ["tambio"(in konkani for a copper pot) with water and a coconut on it]
2.Gold chain set on the mirror
3.Flower garland on the mirror
4.Kumkum and Haldi in bowls
5.Raw Rice

Plate 2 with another sister will have flowers and a Rose Water dispenser
(Gulab-dani, usually made of Silver), Plate 3 with yet another sister will have 4 coconuts on it.
Plate 4 with folded Paan with supari (Veedo).

When the groom's party arrives, the women of the family will precede the men to the entrance. The Groom's sisters will hold Plate 1 (just as in the brides side) and Plate 3. Plate 2 and Plate 4 can be shared.

The women will now walk towards each other and apply kumkum and haldi to each others foreheads and wear a flower from Plate 2. They will sprinkle rose water on each other.

Entering the Hall

Before entering the hall, a aarti of kumkum water is given to groom. This done,
the father of the bride will give the Groom a coconut in his hand and put a small garland around his neck in greeting and lead him by the hand (lest he runaway) into the hall and seat him in a chair in the hall. Rest of the party will follow.

Phool Muddi ( The Flower and the Ring )

Along with the groom sits an un-married boy who is called "Dhedo" (previously the dhedo would be a young kid, nowadays young eligible bachelors are seated instead as a way to get noticed).
Once the groom is captive in the chair, his feet are washed by the father of the bride. A Gold Ring is placed on his finger. A new sacred thread is put on him (over this clothing), he will already have one of his own under it. A Peta is placed on his head.

Aarti is done to him by the bride's mother (with cloth wicks not cotton) and rice is sprinkled on him.
He is fed 5 different types of sweets and a sip of sweetened milk. The Dhedo gets a gift of clothing.

Now, its the brides turn. Bride makes her first enterance to the gathering (still in Sari 1)and is seated in the chair. Along with her sits the "Dhedi" (female version of the dhedo)
She is gifted a Sari and any other gifts (usually ornaments) from the groom's mother. Flowers (white managlore mogra) is pinned to her hair. Aarti is done to her by the groom's mother (with cloth wicks not cotton) and rice is sprinkled on her. She is fed 5 different types of sweets and a sip of sweetened milk. Like the Dhedo, the Dhedi gets a gift of clothing also.

Breakfast I
The first breakfast is served and the whole party tucks in. Bride changes clothes. Brides mother can also change. ( So can anyone else, there is no hard and fast rule)

Ghade Udhak ( Water clock )

Originally intended to help the gathering keep track of the time, now it is done only for symbolic purposes.
5 thambios (copper pots) are held, one each by five women namely bride, bride's mom, groom's mom and 2 others.
They are filled with water and Ganga Pooja is performed as instructed by Pandit.
These pots are then kept aside to be revisited later.

Udida Moorth (Grinding of Gram)

A mix of Green Gram, Black Gram (Udid in konkani), tumeric, oil is prepared and the bride (now in Sari 2) and her mother jointly grind it in a manual stone grinder. Not sure of the significance, if anyone has an idea, pls let me know. Further minor rituals are perfomed as instructed by pandit.

Once the bride is done grinding, her party proceeds to Breakfast II. Vacating the seats to allow the groom and his sister(s) to do the grinding too. The sisters also get to apply kajal to the groom.

Grinding can be done simultaneously also if there is equipment and space available.

Kaashi Yatra

Tired of all the rituals, the groom decides to renounce worldly life and meditate in Kaashi. He sets out with an umbrella, and a Potli ( cloth tied into a bag on a stick containing his worldly belongings ). He is stopped by the Father of the bride, who tells him of the virtues of married life. (Mostly he tells him, there is no escape now, you're doomed)
Once again captive, the groom is pacified with a gift either of money or a gift of clothing and an aarti and proceeds to Breakfast II. He can change his clothing also.

"Go Daan" (Gift the pandit a cow)

Traditionally at this point, the pandit performing the rituals is given a cow as a gift. Now a days ofcourse this is symbolic and cash and/or clothing is given instead.

Aarti is now done to the Groom's Sisters, Groom and the Dhedo and they make a pradakshina (walk in a circle around) the Homa Kund (central holy fire place).

The Water clocks/ Ghade Udhak is revisted by the 5 ladies to check if the water pots are hale and hearty.

Breakfast II

The second breakfast is served and all tuck in (again!)

Entering the Mantap

The bride now well fed and covered in mounds of silk, flowers (moggina ja-day - jasmine flower headress) and a ton of gold is led into the Mantap by her mother. Meanwhile, the Pandit does a pooja of the Mantap. She enters the mantap with her right foot first.

The Dhaare Mani ( black bead and gold chain with 2 large coral beads ) is Mangalsutra 1. It is given by the bride's family. The chain is taken around the hall to be blessed and inspected by the elders.
After remembering the family diety, it is put around the brides neck by her Mother. An aarti is done to her and rice is liberally sprinkled over her.

This done, the bride is dispatched away again, possibly to be decked with more gold.

Var Pooja

The Bride's married sisters and their husbands are called into the mantap in sequence and given a gift of clothing, aarti and rice sprinkling.

Groom Bashing! ( tying the "bashing" on the turban )

"Bashing" is an ornament made of thermocol and glitter held together by glue. It has lot of dangling beads and shiny papers stuck to it. Hideous though it is, it is tied to the Turban of the Groom. Traditionally it was tied over the Gandhi cap which was worn by the groom. It is a good idea to tie it out of sight behind the fan of the peta so that it is not seen.

Preparing the "Talee" ( Thali or Plate )

1 Plate (Vothu Ghadi - means "at the time of pouring" ) is prepared and held by the mother of the bride. It contains the following:
1. 2 simple non zari saris (meant for daily wear by the bride in her new house)
2. Paan Veedo
3. Flowers and Raw Rice
4. 1 Coconut, sari blouse piece, kunkum ( collectively called Vonti )

Plate 2 ( Lagna Talee - wedding plate ) is prepared and held by Groom's mother. It contains the following:
1. Post Wedding Sari ( a grand sari nowadays worn at the reception)
with Pallu visible (pallu has to be visible for aunties present to estimate the cost of the sari :D )
2. Mangalsutra 2 - Chunky Gold and coral bead chain.
3. Paan Veedo
4. Mogra Flowers and Raw rice
5. Silver Kunkum Box
6. A small box of Kajal
7. Ivory comb ( now replaced by a plastic imitation)
8. "Bashing" ( for the bride this time )

The Pandit now does a pooja of the Plates as above. The father of the bride brings the groom into the Mantap along with the Dhedo.

The Plates mentioned above are carefully placed under his chair.
Once he is seated, the parents of the bride will perform an aarti, arghya padya (feet washing) and then put a sacred thread for him. He is given a gift. The gift is usually a Sandook ( if not available, cash is used). A Silver Sandook set ( consists of a plate, a small glass, spoon, box to hold religious stamps, the stamps and a thambio (silver pot) these items are to be used for daily pooja )

Anthar Paat (Curtain)

A cloth is now held by two pandits to obscure his view, because the bride will be brought into the hall now and he should not be able to see her.

Here comes the Bride

The maternal uncle of the bride will bring in the decorated bride leading her by the thumb and will walk her down the aisle from the front enterance of the hall. If there are two they can bring her together (she has only 2 thumbs) . If there are several uncles, a sort of relay is done. Traditional music is played by the musicians and the pandits will commence chanting the mantras.

She enters the mantap again with her right foot and her uncle will sprinkle rice on her head and leave her inside. Now as per instructions by the pandit the Garland exchange between bride and groom takes place.

Dhaar Votuchain (Pouring the stream of milk)
also called Kanya Daan ( Giving away the bride )

A silver pot with a gold pendant of laxmi with a coconut placed over it and milk is poured from it on the hands on the bride, groom and several others as per the instructions of the pandit.
The laxmi pendant signifies that they are giving away the girl only and not the goddess of wealth.

Tying the knot

The Mangalsutra from Plate 2 is retrieved and tied around the brides neck. The "bashing" for the bride is now tied on her head. Plate 2 (Lagna Talee) is given to her. Aarti is done and Rice is sprinkled over her as a blessing.

Kankana (Tumeric pieces) are tied to the wrists of the bride and groom. The coals are fetched by the bride's mother to start the fire in the Homa ( sacred fire ). She is gifted by the grooms family for her efforts.

Lye Virkachain ( Pouring puffed rice )
While the fire is being started, the uncles and brothers of the bride will pour puffed rice through their hands until it falls onto a plate held below. The youngest among them will receive a gift called a Lye Shawl ( now a shirt piece )

The Maternal Uncle will place 2 pairs of toe rings to the bride's toes.

7 Pheras
The bride and groom take 7 circles around the fire as per instructions by the pandit.

Going Bananas!
Bride and Groom now feed each other with Bananas.

Var Ubharchain ( lifting )

The uncle and aunt will then attempt to physically lift the bride and groom. (a daunting task!)
Incase this is not feasible, Bride and groom are walked 4 steps forward and 4 steps back by the maternal uncle and aunt or just gently nudged. The 2 pairs are now given an aarti by the other elders present.

Sharage Ghalchain ( Putting the Pallu )
The mother of the bride will now place the pallu for the bride as a symbol of marriage and replace her half moon bindi with a full moon. The groom will tie a five rupee coin (symbolizing this savings) to the pallu of the bride.

Going Bananas again
Bananas are cut up into small pieces and the bride serves them to the groom's family and her own (symbolizing that she has cooked for them). She is given a gift of cash for her troubles.

Keeping the Name
Traditionally the bride would have a new first name after marriage. The name is still kept, but not used. The mother of the groom will whisper a name 5 times into the bride's ear.

Vonti borchain
The mother of the bride will give her a blouse piece, coconut, kumkum and sprinkle rice for the first time as a married lady.

Baagil Dhorchain
The sisters of the groom, unhappy that their brother will forget them once he is married; will stop him from leaving the mantap. They are pacified with a gift of cash from the Groom.

The wedding party proceeds for Lunch.

Monsoon Wedding II: Preparations

Once the wedding date is decided by the priest, there is no end to the preparations. The priest will provide both date and time (muhurath/muhurtham)

Our Date : 08-08-08 Time : 12:20pm (Abhijin Muhurtham)

Here is the most comprehensive list ever that I found : http://www.ourwedding.in/distributors_bangalore.php
( the detectives are a tad scary )

The usual practice is to make a book with your own list. We saw lists of several friends which gave us a lot of help.

1. Book the hall

If you're living in a city, this needs to be done several months in advance. In my case, it was done 6 months prior to the date. Most halls also have rooms, do check the rooms where the bride / groom will dress etc. In many cases, the hall may look grand but the rooms inside will be tiny and poorly ventilated with cracked mirrors and bad bathrooms. Check if power back up is present. Check for the presence of lock-able cupboards.

2. Caterers

Choose the caterer well in advance. Caterer will need to check the hall to confirm the presence and use of utensils and equipment etc. Make an appointment for this. Ensure that you get to sample the fare to get an idea.
Our Caterers: http://sonacaterers.co.in/

Menu for the following will need to be decided: Two breakfasts, drinks or juices between breakfast and lunch, Served Lunch and Buffet Dinner for the Reception.
Caterers can also be asked to provide snacks and savouries for a week before the wedding to satisfy the hordes of visitors who may come.

3. Gifts

For GSB marriages the following MUST be gifted by the bride's parents.
Gifts for the ladies are a Silk Sari and for the Gents a shirt and trouser piece.

a. Uncles and Aunts of the bride (Paternal and Maternal) - these are the most important and their gifts are correspondingly so. Maternal Aunt and Uncle are particularly important.

b. Sisters (of the bride) and their husbands (if any )

c. In absence of female siblings, Paternal female cousins and their husbands
( too bad for the Maternal cousins )

d. Youngest brother of the bride gets a shirt piece ( traditionally a shawl )
( I wonder why he doesnt get the trousers too )

e. "Dhedi" ( the unmarried girl who sits next to the bride )

f. "Dhedo" ( male version of above who sits beside the groom )

From the Groom's side:

a. Mother and Father of the groom.

b. Sisters of the groom and their husbands

c. Grandparents of the groom - i.e elders who are older than the Groom's Dad.

d. The priest and his wife must be gifted as well. The priest is given a silk Dhoti set (called Patte Thodopu) and a silk sari for his wife.

Outside of this list, it is usual to gift persons in the family who are close to the bride or her parents. For the elder ladies Kanchivarams in traditional patterns are preferred. The colours get darker(not brighter) in direct proportion to the age of the person. For the younger women - i.e younger than the bride's mother Saris can be gifted other silks ( bangalore silks / mysore silks )
For women, the borders of the saris get thinner in direct proportion to age. If they are very very aged they are given super light silks or cotton saris with thin zari border. Cotton to be given only if they insist on it. We bought one such cotton sari from Calcutta.

Tip: Keep a stack of post-it notes handy. Stick them on to the boxes with labels. This allows them to be reviewed and rearranged if needed.

In GSB weddings, gifts are NEVER gift wrapped. This is because they will be displayed when being gifted. The boxes that the saris and clothing pieces come in will be kept open and gifted.

Where to buy: ( we bought from all of these )
Angadi Silks, Jayanagar ( Best for buying in bulk )
Sudarshan Silks, Sheshadripuram
Cauvery Silks International, M. G. Road ( For mysore silks )
Girija Silks, Udupi
Dhakeshwari Vastralaya, Calcutta
Manish Silks, Patna
Johari Bazaar, Jaipur

3. Videographer and Photographer

These are provided by the hall as well. It is however best to pick an individual who is familiar with the wedding style, so that the important functions will be covered.
Be sure to ask the details of the package and mention if you dont want sound / video editing or any special effects.

4. Wedding Cards
These require a trip to Chickpet. It cannot be avoided, so do it when its a sunny day with no chance of rain. I would suggest parking the car in some shopping complex nearby and taking an Auto. We took several hours to choose our card. Take along water and some nourishment to keep the men awake.

Once the cards are bought, they need to be printed. This requires yet another trip to chickpet. If you want to save a trip, take along the text, typed out and formatted on A4 size sheets. Make a few copies just in case. Take along the route map to the Wedding Hall ( this will be provided by the Hall ). Printers often have ideas of their own. Ask for a sample for proof reading before the whole batch is printed.

5. Accomodation for out-station Guests

Service Apts are the best option for wedding parties. They provide transport and catering as well. This link has most of the places, sorted according to budget :
http://www.bangalorebest.com/Accomodation/serviceapp.asp

6. Transport
Includes Transport to pick up guests from airport/railway station and drop them at guest houses and for the wedding party itself. The hall / caterer / service apt/ hotel often provide these.

7. Hall decorators and Musicians

Usually these are provided by the hall itself. It is best to choose them since they will be well versed with the hall.

8. Wedding favours

South Indian weddings provide a bag/box with a Coconut ( this is in Kannadiga style ) or a Fruit. In GSB traditional style, its a box of sweets, a packet of savouries and a Sweet Pan - called "Beeda" . Sometimes a small idol of ganesha is also given.
Getting the bag requires a trip to chickpet. Many options (velvet / plastic/ jute/ cloth) and sizes are available.
If a sample is provided, the process becomes easier. Also needed is the dimensions of the sweet box from the Caterer. The Bag will need to be printed with the details of the wedding. Better to carry that along as well.

Monsoon Wedding - I

First of all, this is not a bird related post. I'm taking a small sabbatical from birding to concentrate on a personal project - My Wedding. This is the first of a short series of posts that will detail all you ever wanted to know about an Indian Hindu Wedding. I hope this will prove useful to anyone planning a wedding.

Pls Note: I belong to the GSB - (Goud Saraswat Brahmin) community.

The Horror Scope!

Finding the Groom/Bride, usually is a tedious process which involves horoscope matching. While a lot of the older Indians swear by it, most have little or no clue of what exactly is getting matched.

The matching process involves calculating a Score using 2 birth-charts or horoscopes. The Max Score possible is 36. Cut-off marks are high. The couple need to score greater than 18. We scored 24.
The Mangal Dosh (made famous by the Aishwarya Rai wedding) is cancelled out if both the boy and girl have it in their horoscopes.

Birth-charts : Are documents created when a child is born into a hindu family, noting the date and time of birth, location (latitude and longitude) among other things. The positions of important stars and planets at the time of birth are noted in the form of a chart.

Note: South Indian and North Indian horoscopes contain the same info but are organised differently. Usually the date, time and location are used to construct a fresh birth-chart of a similar style for matching.

The system supposedly checks for 8 different regions of compatibily. For details, check out this article on Vedic Horoscope Matching

Traditionally horoscopes are matched by family priests. The priest will usually take his own time and provide a verdict. Details are usually not explained.
Several sites offer online Horoscope matching. Its free, detailed and the report is mailed to your email address.

We used Planetary Positions
Our horoscopes (one north, one south) were also matched by 3 different priests - 2 north indian and 1 south indian and all gave the same results as provided by PlanetaryPositions.

The Engagement

Once the formalities are out of the way, an Engagement date is chosen by the priest. Time is as important as the date. Usually no auspicious activity should be done at Rahu kala. The panchang( hindu religious calendar) is consulted to find a good time.

For Tamil Muhurtham dates:
http://www.subhakariam.com/muhurtham.htm
For North Indian Muhurath dates:
http://www.liveindia.com/muhurat/
Free Software to calculate a date:
http://www.newfreedownloads.com/find/muhurat.html
Disclaimer: I havent tried this one myself.

Many communities dont have a ring exchange at the Engagement, although now a days the western practice of rings is increasingly followed among many ( After all - Who wants to say no to Diamonds? )

A Simple GSB style Engagement will usually be done at the girl's house. Ideally there should be elder relatives from the maternal and paternal side to bless the boy and girl. The girl and boy are expected to exchange gifts ( usually a gift of clothing ). A small prayer is said and the couple can seek blessings of all elders present by touching their feet. The families will exchange sweet boxes.

In the north indian custom, the exchange of gifts is far more elaborate. A complete set of clothing, foot wear, handbag, jewellery, cosmetics is given in addition to baskets of fruit and dry fruits.

Attire:
The girls in the south will usually wear Saris though many are now opting for Ghagra Cholis. Note: Unless you have occasions to wear it again sometime, this is a dead investment. In south india, the girl will be expected to wear some amount of gold. Parlours offer makeup services for Engagements - Rs. 3000 from Lakme

The guys will usually settle for Kurtas. Suits are a big NO, unless you want to look like you're attending a seminar in Europe.

Gift options:
For Her : Sari, Gold/Diamond Ring, Gold Chain/ Ear studs, Shoes, Perfume, Watch, Handbag, Salwar suit
For Him : Shirt and Trouser set, Kurta set, Gold Ring, Watch, Sun glasses, Cologne

Tips:
Buy Gold from Big Brands that will offer buy back ( in case you need to exchange ) and will also provide free Service. My engagement ring was from Gili and they replaced it at no charge when a diamond in it fell off.

Try to shop at a Mall that has a loyalty program.

Use a credit card for all purchases atleast till the wedding is over. The huge bills in the coming months will generate a lot of reward points that can be converted to vouchers or Air Miles. (Remember to pay credit card bills on time.)